Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
We have started to decorate penises.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Randomize
