when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
A bitchslap is in order.
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