He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
