dude i'm inner monologue high
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
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how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
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My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
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