My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize