i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
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