I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
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