come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
Randomize
