i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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