I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
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