Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
Randomize
