ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Randomize
