Me. At least after what I've been through.
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
These People Had Regrettable One Night Stands
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
This Girl Makes Latte Art That’s Too Cute to Drink
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".