Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
Randomize
