my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
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He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
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I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it