Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
23 Theme Park Employees Confess The Biggest Adult Tantrums They’ve Witnessed
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...