But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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