I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
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