ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
