My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
Randomize
