Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
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