You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
Randomize
