god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
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