Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Randomize
