In the future we'll all be gay
i jhust puked up my retainher.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Randomize