why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
Randomize
