you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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