would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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