i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize
