Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
Randomize
