Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
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It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
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I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
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