Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
Randomize
