distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
Randomize
