OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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