you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
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You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
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We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
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