We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
I forget how to act sober
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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