totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
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