Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
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