Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
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