HIV tests are more positive than that guy
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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