Pants 0. Shit 1.
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
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