Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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