i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
Randomize
