I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
