I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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