I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
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