so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
Randomize