Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
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