Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
if i died would you start the facebook group?
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
Randomize
