before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
Randomize
