i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize
