Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
how drunk are you?
Several
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Randomize
