Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize