I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
Randomize
