Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
Randomize
