i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
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