I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
Randomize
