oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
and she was petting her beer can
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Randomize
