and my herpes radar will keep us safe
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
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