So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize
