you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
Randomize
