How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
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